Let's Talk Romance: Female vs. Male Perspective in Love Songs

A couple of weeks ago I got an idea for a series of short stories based on angsty song lyrics, and I just finished my first story and sent it off to my editor (a.k.a. Relena). The project has made me realize something that I find interesting -- most of the tortured, angsty love songs that I love so much and was so excited about using for my project are written and sung from the male perspective.

Why am I drawn to love songs from the male perspective? I have a couple of theories, and I'll use some quotes from one of my favourite articles, Modleski's "The Disappearing Act: A Study of Harlequin Romances" to add some oomph to my explanation.

The first theory is that love songs written from a male perspective give the same specific sense of dramatic irony that I find in romance novels. As the reader/listener/audience, I know something the heroine and often the hero do not. One of the most exciting and intriguing things about reading a romance novel is being privy to the knowledge that the hero, no matter how cold and unfeeling he may seem, is desperately in love with the heroine: "A great deal of our satisfaction in reading these novels comes...from our conviction that the woman is bringing the man to his knees and that all the while he is being so hateful, he is internally groveling, groveling, groveling" (441). Angsty songs written and sung from the male perspective often have the same effect of making me feel that I know something that the woman and sometimes even the man does not realize.

My other theory is ripped directly out of that article as well, and it is that women are conditioned to seek pleasure through the appraisal and approval of men: "'Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at'" [Modleski quoting Berger](445). I'm uncomfortable with this theory, because it would mean that I enjoy romantic songs from the male perspective because I've been conditioned to see myself from the male perspective, and this is how I receive my romantic (and presumably sexual) pleasure.

I tend not to agree with the second theory, at least not entirely, because I don't think I necessarily place myself in the role of the female in the song/book. Either way, I'm somewhat uncomfortable writing romance from the man's perspective, which I feel I pretty much have to do if I'm basing my stories on songs written from male perspective. I realize it is possible for a woman to do this realistically, but I'm not yet comfortable enough as a writer to feel confident about performing this task adequately. However, I'll see what the feedback is on my first story, which is Slow Dancing in a Burning Room.